Pure Pleasure

Hi Amy,

Thanks for your latest post ('On Letting Go Of Anger After Being Robbed'). I really appreciate you acknowledging that some of your comments could come off as insensitive. It is great that you are able to reflect on that.

I think that if you really are a "lover of all people", you should delete the post (including the photo). At this point there’s no reason it still needs to be up. To me being sex positive means understanding that people have been told for their whole lives that sex is shameful and their bodies are not to be fully lived in or loved. By keeping the post up you are perpetuating these ideas by undoubtedly causing this individual a lifetime of feeling additional shame in connection to these events. Do we really need to slap another person on the wrist for pursuing pleasure?

You should have thought before opening a business about how within the context of trying to create a positive and safe sexual space in the community you would respond to what you consider violations of that space, such as shoplifting. Ranting on your blog? Pressing charges? Is that really a good way to let community members know that Pure Pleasure is a safe space that is respectful and confidential of their sexuality? I also feel that you’re making a joke out the fact that a crystal butt plug was stolen—that somehow this makes him gay. It makes no difference what items were stolen.

You must understand that the sex toy industry is elitist-- sex products are very expensive and not an option for the majority of people. If you open a sex toy store you are going to get stolen from, despite how much you believe you are "the little guys doing good things for the community". Little guys doing good things for the community do not install security cameras, “hunt down” shoplifters, and write about them/post their photos on the internet.

We all know the way to stop shoplifters while they’re in the store—approach them and be overly friendly and attentive, without being accusatory. I think that approach works retroactively as well—tell shoplifters face-to-face that you don’t appreciate being stolen from. If you feel there must be some punishment, get them distribute free condoms in the community. Rather that making this a point to tighten up (checking customers bags, sharpening your ‘hawk eyes’, etc.) make it a point to open up—show the Santa Cruz community that you are not a business to be stolen from by getting more involved in doing good things for the community. Perhaps run a do-it-yourself sex toy workshop.

I have been a customer or Pure Pleasure in the past but I will not be returning to your store unless some major change happens. There are many other sex shops to support that have truly sex positive practices, and that’s where I will be heading (and telling others to head there with me—see resource list below).

Jasmine

Resources:

• Good Vibrations- http://www.goodvibes.com/main.jhtml
• Babeland- http://www.babeland.com/
• Venus Envy- http://venusenvy.ca/
• Smitten Kitten- https://www.smittenkittenonline.com/