Being Set Up for A Spectacle: An Artist's Trajectory of Deepdiving While UncoloniziNg

This is a form of rant from a longtime indymedia contributor (since at least 2001). It is a rant about the frustration of seeking to bring a side of the truth to a reality that is sorely missing it, while possibly still not really "knowing" it!!

Let me "cut to the chase" so to speak.
Because,
Soon you might ask:
"How dare YOU even show YOUR face openly and without fear!!!"

In the kind of War Readiness Cult-ure that the u.s.a. has become so much more revealingly of late, you know many who claim ideological integrity will scream this out!! DARING to speak, you say, "At The Wrong Time" due to the alleged "divisiveness" of this side of the truth.

When i's recognize that there IS NO 'GOOD TIME' to speak this side of truth!! !!
Even WHILE WE ARE KILLED IN JAILS, PRISONS, AND 'PSYCH HOSPITALS' across the u.s.a. THERE IS NEVER A 'GOOD TIME' to hear us!! !!

Thus they (the covert aggressors apparently working hard to Set Me Up) Fall Back on their Settler Normatives, categorizing our challenge into a convenient (how neocolonial of them) binary.

Even when we are scrupulous in NOT breaking their most terrorist of fLaws!!

SCAPEGOATS ARE NEEDED, AFTER ALL. A STEADY "PARADE OF ENEMIES" that YOU true savages "HAVE TO" subordinate to "When Push Comes To Shove." Why?? BECAUSE you ALL (?) have been PSYCHOLOGICALLY GENOCIDED at an early age! ! ! ! And you are SO STUPID-IZED that YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO THAN TO 'CALL SETTLER AUTHORITY'.

BUT these covert aggressors (seeking to Stir Up Overt Aggression, likely) STILL need to manufacture your consent via a story that obfuscates/fogs-up/mystifies/demonizes WHOMEVER they and their handlers DECIDE to REALLY gang-up on. (I AND SO MANY OTHERS)

So that even tho i's (plural) have walked solo, not breaking sex hysteria fLaws (in order to try to avoid state/cor(e)po(o)r'ate terrorism), i must BRACE FOR THE WORST, anyway. EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NOT BROKEN SUCH fLAWS!! !! And have PROVEN, OVER AND OVER, to VARIOUS 'aUTHORities' that i am no threat to young people.

Do you EVEN UNDERSTAND how hard VARIOUS AGENCIES HAVE WORKED TO 'INVESTIGATE' MY PUNK ASS???? Having not filed for a FOIA, i don't "really" know, but i certainly have my experience with shit i cannot ignore.

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And thus THE REASON for publishing this now, and here. To make a form of "affidavit" or similar LEGAL TRACE of my EXPECTING TO BE SET-UP and TORTURED IN U.S. PRISONS, etc. until my body finally can take no more.
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So they deploy even young kids these days, i guess.

Sending one kid over to where i was sitting this last Saturday, down by the Riverfront, showing my art (one can legally do 'free speech' as long as one doesn't 'sell' their art/speech, generally; if you want to 'sell' stuff, you're supposed to Get a Permit and Pay $$$ and Play The Settler Normative Game; but lee-way has been given, i think, due to so much more financial strain than usual on so many). So, i could take donations, but i'm somewhat financially stable of late....that is, able to be housed (because it is now illegal in Oregon to be unhoused).

So i am saying that a young person was deployed into my space, standing smack-dab in front of me, facing me, but not saying anything and looking back at whom was pointing a camera our way in a way that felt to me to be aloof on her part (perhaps not knowing why but doing as she was told). i say all this DUE to the young person not actually speaking to me and yet APPEARING TO! And though i at first assumed she was there to ask me what i was up to, and i began sharing such, i soon recognized reality and took this with increasing alarm.

The young person (probably pre-teen) was made a pawn for a form of ideologically-challenged war-pose! So what I'm saying is that some GROANUP thinks NOTHING, apparently, of deploying their 'child' that way in order to APPARENTLY build up "media" to CHARACTER ASSAsSINATE and block everything i've tried to do and say with my art! (Sounds pretty objectifying and Neglectful of the girl's parents, eh?) AND, IF IT CAN HAPPEN TO ME, IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU.

So, WHOMEVER they are, filmed this, certainly editing it later. And adding what-ever war-stuck ideology they've been mobilized to Believe (not think through with informed choice!), in order to PUT THE STICK to me's. Not just me. Me's, plural.

You'll ASSUME that i'm OVER-REACTING in my queer 'male' privilege, i suppose; well, put that together with what happened the last time i took Amtrak AND before that, when a plainclothes cop-looking thug DIRECTLY THREATENED, PUBLICLY ON THE MAX (public transit subway-type train) to TORTURE ME TO DEATH. Yes, in a place that SHOULD HAVE a video/audio COPY of that encounter. (But i didn't even ask them, because my consciousness tries to avoid formal authorities and their bureaucracy, etc.)

So
This kind of almost surreal has been getting thicker towards me in the last few years. In a pattern i cannot help but take notes on and psychicly reel from (surely the intention). NOTE: I HAVE REMAINED NONVIOLENTLY ORIENTED, UNORGANIZED, and UNABLE to organize (not charismatic enough, i guess; well, if you've read my missives over the years you'll know i was actually against formal organization, preferring anarchist critiques in my panarchy!).

Nor DO i PERPETUATE ALIENATION BY 'HATING ON' COPS AND OTHER TOOLS OF THE SEVERELY ALIENATED STUPIDITY CALLED 'STATECRAFT'!! (yes, i call BELIEFS stupid, NOT PEOPLE!!)(Beliefs dam up "the free flow of thought" and stagnate thinking ultimately!!) Unlike many anarchists, i see cops as mere tools, and tooled SIMILARLY TO most Settler People, having INTERNALIZED the values of Statecraft and it's SEVERELY ALIENATED "INTERESTS".

What to do?? If i wish to continue to articulate (in my art, especially) uncolonizing values AND hold onto my best principles?? Is there ANYTHING I CAN DO?? Perhaps not. Except to NOT GO QUIETLY. And try to warn others to just how far war-stuck mindset will go To Have Its Way.

COINTELPRO is not "dead", it's legal now, said the ACLU a few years back. Frightening, yes, and yet one of the things people have to face up in this life. (Protecting oneself Restrictively only keeps people UNPREPARED! While protecting ENRICHINGLY PREPARES people!! THINK ABOUT IT!!)

i don't expect to hear anything from anyone, here or the other places i try to publish this. So i'm just throwing this out into the darkness, maybe touching a few crucial hearts so that AT LEAST THEY study this sort of thing and find ways through it.

('unbridled artist netwoik' **is** affiliated with 'unmediated artist netwoik' so CENSOR AWAY if that is your calling, OR, EDUCATE YOURSELF to the broadness of my contributions here and help me and my "ilk" in OUR fight to be adequately HEARD, finally!!)

You see, what my's side of the truth holds as a gift is the PREPARED/enriched ability of all "called" towards each other in meaningfuL co'mmmmm'unity across all fabricated boundaries!!