May Day! May Day!

Couldn't they wait just another few days? Did they have to drop the bomb today, already?
Oh, its only another 4 weeks, give or take another couple lost weekends. And, by the way, you can forget about Memorial Day too.
Is anyone thinking about May Day itself at all?
You mean gyrating around some Wobbly tree until everyone bops till they drop?
Out of the question! No way to keep proper social distance, are you kidding? People get out of control, inadvertently touching, even fondling, and before you know it tongues are penetrating oral orifices and a full fledged orgy is breaking out!
Haven't you heard? The Commander and thief himself conspired today to say that's how the the Big V began. And the only cure is to imbibe Drano to clean out your pipes.
No, no no! I didn't mean that.
What then?
International Workers Day!
But they're all out of work. Is that, like Bernie's birthday or something? I thought he was out of it.
But they have it in other countries.
Who cares.
I guess it doesn't matter. Shot of Drano?