The Racism Within (All of Us)

There's been a lot of talk on the radio pitting Spanish language programmers against English language programmers. Who does the work, who pays for the equipment, who belongs in Santa Cruz, who belongs in Watsonville, who donates to FRSC, who listens. Who fits in which box, who speaks for whom. Who owns the equipment, even. This has been argued at meetings, on the air, and on the internet.

I want to be clear from the start here, that I believe this to be dialogue and debate that organizations doing the work of building community need to be having--as hard as it is, that we as a station need to discuss our own racism, our own assumptions, to be critical of our own results, our own process, our own members. This is a process that's necessary to progress and I do not shy away from it: All organizations in Santa Cruz need to do this work, particularly ones that have gone years and years and you look around and see that the folks involved are still primarily straight white men. Don't tell me it's because Santa Cruz is mostly white, or mostly straight. The communities engaged in active resistance are most definitely not. There's a reason why Free Radio Santa Cruz is mostly white just like there's a reason why Santa Cruz itself is mostly white.

What I am trying to say, is that whether or not we acknowledge it, there is an undercurrent of fierce racism in our town. It's always there, it's always bubbling. It's not limited to republicans, or rich folks. It's within all of us. It does down like this: If you grew up in a racist society, and I'd assume that all of us did, then that is not without its effects. I'll be the first one to say that I am racist. No matter how many teach-ins or trainings, books or experiences, my anti-racist unlearning has not and likely will never conquer the fine training I've received in racial discrimination, in my own place of privilege. Have I learned from my experiences? Absolutely. Do I still make mistakes? Absolutely. I have unconscious racist thoughts that manifest in more conscious thinking in my brain that sometimes continue to inform actions that I regret, words that I jumble, interactions that I'd like to do over. It's a daily struggle.

If it's not a daily struggle, then you are opting out. Then you are blind to injustice.

I say this, addressing this conflict on the air for the very first time, in response to some of the listener comments we've been getting on the voicemail, which is 427-4523 by the way. In response to several programmers at this here radio station who want hear the listener response to an increase in Spanish language programming. Now just like they've said to me, I wouldn't hold anyone responsible for what folks on 'their' side are saying, but I do state that we need to look carefully at ourselves in the mirror--all of us, no matter how we stand on this issue, when calls to the Free Radio Voicemail sound like this:

Now I hesitate and deliberated about whether to air that--but here's the deal. Ignoring it has not made it go away, and encouraging it has made it worse. We must confront it. "So much of life must go, not to forward right, but to beat back wrong" -WEB Du Bois on John Brown, in a call to beat back the evil of the world. I will fight back against this kind of virulent racism--but I will not hesitate call out those who speak the same sentiments in kinder words. That voice doesn't surprise me and it shouldn't surprise you. That voice encourages scapegoating. That voice recalls the very same Evil WEB Dubois was talking about. It hasn't been defeated--it hasn't gone away. Racism has evolved, changed, but it's still with us. That means we got work to do.

The woman we just heard is not claimed by either side of this debate--she is offered here not as a red herring but as a concession that she is within all of us. That voice is part of our schooling, our discourse, our internal dialogue. It's the voice heard internally in our most regrettable moments, it's the voice broadcast loud and belligerently on fox news. It's the spirit of our national contradictions--and it's being poked with a stick on the national stage as well as the frequency 101.1 FM, where the dialogue about whether the station should have a daily Spanish language global independent news broadcast alongside an English language global independent news broadcast (we just heard Free Speech Radio News & Informativo Pacifica aired back to back) breaks down into accusations of playing the race card and dismissive distractions.

I'm not trying to smear those who disagree with my statements with the retched nonsense we just heard. I'm trying to own it. Ignoring it has never ever made this kind of filth go away. I will not stand aside while the radio station I've worked with for years encourages, broadcasts or amplifies it.