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Indybay Feature

Scientology's San Francisco Office Going Out of Business

by Julia Helatrobus
The Scientology organization's San Francisco branch will be going out of business on February 1.
640_scientology_stage.jpg
The Church of Scientology in San Francisco regrets to announce that it will be going out of business as of Sunday, February 1. Jeff Quiros, CEO of the Scientology organization's San Francisco branch, says that a sharp decline in book sales, coupled with a sharp increase in negative publicity over the past year, has made it impossible to sustain operations. "We're just not getting the "bodies in the shop" that we used to have," Quiros remarked. "Our "stress test" tables in the BART stations are generating far fewer recruits than they were at this time last year." Quiros went on to suggest that the nation's economic crisis hasn't helped matters. "People don't seem to understand that we have a variety of financing plans, so that every family can fit the Scientology religion into its budget. We had hoped that more San Francisco Bay Area people would be willing to make this investment into their next trillions of years, but I guess this town doesn't know a good thing when it sees it. Why wouldn't a person want to be part of Scientology's tremendous worldwide expansion? The only possible answer is that such a person has many horrible crimes and evil purposes that he wants to conceal."

Scientology is a bona fide, legitimate religion that was made up in 1950 by the humanitarian, war hero, nuclear physicist, musician and poet, L. Ron Hubbard. Scientology was recognized as a religion by the Internal Revenue Service in 1993. Scientology has more than 70 million members worldwide in more than 288 countries. The Church of Scientology in San Francisco was established in 1969. The Church has occupied its present quarters at 701 Montgomery Street since 2003.
by L ron Hubbard is Bernie Maddoff
Scientology is a giant ponzi scheme that brainwashes and abuses its members. We can only wish the entire "church" will go under. Glad to see they are leaving San Francisco. I can only guess that they lost money in their real estate investments made from charging people $1500 for a workshop on "thinking positively".
by Xenu
L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of $cientology, was outed as a fraud by his own son, LRH jr. Search "L Ron Hubbard" on YouTube.

Also, the super-secret doctrine of the Church revolves around a space-alien overlord named Xenu. It's really funny and South Park did an episode on it which you can watch online. Or just search Xenu on YouTube.
by Xenu Hubbard
L. Ron Hubbard, founder of Scientology, died while on the psych drug known as Vistaril. Search L. Ron Hubbard on Wikipedia for the proper documentation.
by Zorro
Hip hip hooray! Good by and good riddance!
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