Sexual Responsibility Through Lawsuits?

Bridget and John B. are trapped in the same “sue me, sue you blues.” The California couple, who married in 2000, are now divorced and suing each other for transmitting AIDS. Both have contracted the disease. She claims that he gave it to her on their honeymoon. Her evidence? He slept with men and engaged in unprotected sex before they were married, a fact that she didn’t know at the time they walked down the aisle. He says he took an AIDS test in 2000 that proves he was not infected and therefore contracted it from her. The California State Supreme Court ruled on July 5 that the civil suit by Bridget B. could go forward. In his ruling, Judge Marvin Baxter said that “constructive knowledge” was enough to warrant a suit.

Wrote Baxter: “When the actor has reason to know of the HIV infection--i.e., when there is sufficient information to cause a reasonably intelligent actor to infer he or she is infected with the virus or that infection is so highly probable that his or her conduct would be predicated on that assumption--the potential for harm through sexual transmission is reasonably foreseeable.”

There’s no doubt in my mind that people need to take responsibility for their actions, and for each other’s welfare, especially when it involves the risk of transmitting a deadly disease such as AIDS. It’s not like a case of the clap that can be easily wiped out with a dose of antibiotics.

But our culture does not teach us sexual responsibility. Kids are shielded from the reality of sex as if it were the plague. They are lied to for years, with cute stories about storks or angels delivering babies to expectant parents. In my generation, most kids learned about the “facts of life” on the streets. The first time I jerked off, I thought I had damaged myself because my dick shot off white stuff. How many teenage girls still end up pregnant because they honestly don’t know the possible results of penetration without a condom?

Add to this the fact that it’s still not cool to be queer and you’ve got a formula for unfortunate cases such as this one. The John Bs of the world are still closeted for a reason. They are given the message from church, family and school that being queer is immoral, sick, perverted, etc. They enter marriage to cover up their true sexual desires. Until society takes responsibility for its homo hating, men and women are going to continue marrying the opposite sex for all the wrong reasons. They are going to have their affairs on the side and pretend to the world that they are the epitome of normalcy.

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