Sacramento Anarchists Slay the Trojan Horse of Ugly Corporate Development!

An epic battle ensued between the violent anarchists and the shiny corporate stallion. Despite the beast’s glistening steel armor and razor sharp fangs, the dark warriors outfought the glossy monster and stood triumphantly over its metal remains.
The attack came as a shock to many, but several local politicians had previously warned of anarchists “busting up Sacramento like they did in Seattle” in reference to the 1999 World Trade Organization protests that led to millions of dollars in property damage in downtown Seattle.
“It is an absolute pity. This sort of thing is totally preventable,” mayor Fargo conceded.
"It's a serious matter," FBI agent Stanley Handcock said. "A task force is investigating the incident.”
But law enforcement and experts say it is difficult to target members because anyone who acts out in the name of anarchism is considered a member.
"They are organized in the sense that they have a common philosophy in so-called 'direct action,' " Handcock said. "They all have the philosophy that direct action must be taken.”
"You don't have to apply to them for a membership card; there are no dues to be paid."
The developer of the Safeway project, Paul Petrovich, referred to the incident as “just plain terrorism.”
Other community members welcomed the death of the monstrosity. All over the city, spontaneous parties broke loose in the streets and gunshots were fired into the air in celebration. The police have warned that the use of firearms is illegal, unsafe, and immoral.
Some citizens even felt a sense of relief as the demon crashed to the ground. “I’ll sleep easier every night knowing the piece-of-shit horse has been put out of its misery,” said Grace Perchowski, who lives in the neighborhood.
Many saw the atrocious animal as a poor replacement for an almost five-year-old mural that was destroyed in the process of building the new Safeway. Its artist, Kevin Price, could not be reached for comment.
“Everyone knows what you have to do when a horse is lame: shoot it,” commented local libertarian Ed Hunnigan.