FNC IS GROUND ZERO

The BBC was unsuccessful at unelecting Vladimir Putin last week and are still saying na na na na na at Al Qaeda.

Britain, who has attacked the United States more than once will flip flop faster than they left New Orleans during the last war when I become president of OPEC.

Well known for top down leadership, from King George the first to Tony Blair the British royal dictators have biult a powerful financial empire over the last 1000 years or so by using the slave trade and providing mercenary services to various dictators around the world including Bush. The top of current British leadership is of course Bush.

France weighed in on the issue back in the 1700's when they used top down leadership to remove the tops of the royal family which subsequently fell in a bucket.

BASTILLE DAY was removed from the calenders here in the US in the year 2000. Dennis Miller, who bragged about his abundant freedom last week probably doesn't know his calender has been censored.

John Kerry has refused to turn over the names of WORLD LEADERS who support his run for president because Bush will try to wack them.

I will provide this short list in the interest of the public's right to know.

Every member country of the United Nations. Israel, the parent corporation of the former United States, is not really a member of United Nations which is an irrelevant debating society that is standing by to analy rape Bush.

Other world leaders, like registered voters, have also expressed a great desire to have an elected president.

Fox news channel, who regularly uses my CATV system to threaten and extort voters and foreign countries into submission with promises of terrorism offered the opinion of a no nothing terrorism expert who does not believe that I can mold his opinions.

Fox threatened Spain with more terrorism today because they refused to vote for a conservative and jump every time Bush says frog.

I have not yet decided whether to SUPPORT TERRORISM by voting for Bush or vote for John Kerry.

I have learned recently that John Kerry followed his orders in Viet Nam when he was told to kill people. This kind of resolve is impressive and could very well win my vote.

When Kerry wins I expect to be appointed to a high level cabinet position. If Kerry appoints me as CIA DIRECTOR I promise to track down the Bush cartel and bring them to justice dead or alive.

Kerry is also known for flip flopping which is a good thing. I often flip and flop myself in order to survive.

Kerry borrowed much of the Bush platform to avoid being arrested as a terrorist during his campaign.

As president, I expect Kerry to flip and or flop at a time of his own choosing.

As a matter of fact, the first time he reiterates the "War on Terror" in public I promise to massage his prostate with my unpublished newspaer until he begs for mercy. Other methods of persuasion are available.

Al Qaeda has so far not promised to terrorize Kerry because they seem to be concentrating on Bush. IS BUSH SCARED? Bush is not only scared, he is increasingly censoring himself on TV because every time he opens his mouth he increases the chances of a terrorist killing some one.

As the world's leading terrorism expert I can assure you with all certainty that if Kerry doesn't flop out of the "WAR ON TERROR" and the PATRIOT ACT, the world will see a lot more terrorism, and less freedom and democracy.

Iran successfully repelled US forces today who attempted to invade this nation. Iran, who won their independence form the US in a popular revolution, is involved in a educational dispute with the Bush cartel and Fox news channel. The Bush cartel has a general doctrine that forbids non GOP voters and foreign countries from using education for any practical purpose that does not serve the cartel's interest.

When Bush was appointed president, he made a speech promising to destroy all economic interests other than his which was refered to as "American" but resembles the interests of our parent corporation Israel.

My plan for America is to first help Kerry get elected, then mold his opinion, then buy back the nation from Israel, then disarm Israel.

There are many who are not confident in my ablility to disarm Israel however if Kerry is elected I will try to twist his arm out of the shoulder socket and kick his elbow until he agrees with me.

The pope, who advocates migratory living, has helped me to improve the design of what will in no doubt become the world's most effective weapon of mass destruction ever invented. The IONOSPHERE HOG. Migratory living can be encouraged with the IONOSPHERE HOG by mounting both poles of the unit on a rotating base which gives the operator the ability to refocus the attack at a time of their own choosing.

If Kerry decides to deploy the weapon, Bush will be forced to circle the globe on the lamb until some hater gets in a lucky shot.

In my opinion, Kerry should not end the war immediately. I will tell him when the war is over. We should use the WAR ON TERROR as an excuse to deport the entire population of Palestine to Crawford Texas while we focus the IONOSPHERE HOG on Tel AVIV and ask them politely to hand over the nuclear weapons that we paid for.

THE PATRIOT ACT, which Kerry wisely supported, authorizes me or some one like me, to be hired by the government to conduct a sneek and peek search of the Crawford Ranch in the form of a COMMANDO RAID and bring back Bush dead or alive.

I WILL NOT FAIL TO DO MY DUTY if Kerry gives me the job.

THE PATRIOT ACT also authorizes Kerry appointees to liquidate terrorist companies like HALIBURTON, and MAXXAM and execute the boards of directors after a fair secret trial.

Maxine Waters is having trouble with her travel plans to Haiti, she might want to try contacting Haitian air traffic control and asserting that your flight plan includes a final destination on top of the royal palace and they should clear the area immediately.

This method worked well for Hosni Mubarak who was subsequently allowed to land in DC and Bush had to make up more lies.

While writing this article I was monitoring FNC for more direct threats and they have also chilled out. I do expect Bill O'Reilly to yell and threaten me with terrorism on his daily show, and I will respond.

The FNC terrorist network is concentrating on trying to undermine solidarity in the Firefighters union and labor unions in general. They are also desperately tring to spin the tragedy in Madrid as an excuse to continue raiding the homes of civilians to take away their weapons and seize their money.

FNC also hosted a military spokesman who said the attacks on Iran near the border of Iraq will increase in frequency. I fully support Iran's right to defend their country against Haliburton and the rest of the Bush cartel. The widespread use of nuclear weapons during the most recent invasion of Iraq clearly justifies the use of nuclear weapons to defend their country.

If appointed as head of NASA I promise to share just enough technology with the DPRK to make sure that all of their missle tests accidently land on the Crawford Ranch. This kind of misinformation is useful in disrupting the progress of backward Stalinist nations who threaten to overtake NASA in the race for expensive stupidity.

NASA is expected to announce the discovery of a 10th planet in the solar system which was discovered several years ago but they thought it was funny to tell Bush they found it in November. Increased security for NASA was demanded by Bush which usually means that something is going to blow up.

Israel has announced that certain dead bodies cannot be buried in GAZA.

If hired by the Kerry administration I promise to give the terrorist ARIEL SHARON the right to be buried in Israel as quickly as possible.

That will happen as soon as I finish cremating the bodies of all of the Israeli intelligence agents located in this nation.

Israeli Diplomats are expected to be expelled in a rather hostile manor.

Larry David, I'm not sure if he's a jew or a davidian, refused to have sex with a Republican on his "reality tv" program on HBO yesterday.

This week's episode of the popular show "The Sopranos" indicates that Tony got the message and is considering FEDERAL REDEVELOPMENT. He also indicated that he knows a Korean with the first name Kim. Networks of terrorists seem to be linking globaly. Tony's rat pack is supplying misinformation to the feds that will run them around in circles forever. Other secret messages were inserted into the show and are expected to baffle the DHS throughout the new season. Please wack the new Tony as quickly as possible, fire the casting director, and send Steve over to Mel Brook's office so they can play NYPD on the casting couch.

VOTE FOR JOHN KERRY SO I CAN WIN THE WAR ON TERRORISM.

by Albert Kada
Independent Terrorist Journalist
World's only publisher of computer viruses besides Microsoft.
designer of the Patriot softwareless electronic voting machine.
designer of the IONOSPHERE HOG.
Stolen from the unpublished newspaper "The American Blasphemer" please copy