List of Articles The Importance of Being Adams Never Again The Etiquette of Appeasement

Gretta Duisenberg is no doubt one impressive lady. Precisely the kind of girl circumcised Jewish boys love to fuck, oops, to fall in love with. I can't possibly understand how gorgeous Gretta would fit into any culture where suicide bombing is all the rage. There are many things I can't understand.

Gretta is a tall, blond, intelligent, gutsy Shikza. What more can one wish for? OK, she's dark, but could have been fairer, like many of her Arian sisters.

Gretta is the kind of 1960s radical who would drop out of uni, fly to a Kibbutz, smoke grass, discover the joy of humid, mid-summer sex, work in the orchard and fall for the coolest Israeli pilot, a vegetarian pacifist needless to say. Then they would procreate 4 gorgeous kids, 6 dogs and 15 cats, not necessarily in that order and not all Siamese. Procreation complete, Greta and co-pilot would have all the time in the world to reform the universe. They would launch an animal hospital that takes care of wounded birds, reptiles and butterflies free of charge. They would recycle wastewater, nurture organic lettuces, attend Tantra workshops and fly to Puna twice a year. In between steamy love making sessions, during perhaps, Greta and pilot would form the Peace Now movement. They would demonstrate in downtown Tel Aviv for peaceful co-existence between Arabs, Jews and other kinds of Middle Eastern subspecies.

Alas, our Gretta has taken the wrong turn. As far as I know she missed out on Kibbutz volunteering, didn't make love to her sexy Israeli pilot, wasn't a founding member of Peace Now. Not sure about the kids, dogs and cats. Instead, radical chic Gretta opted for the safe monetary option and formed a joint partnership with European Central Bank president Wim Duisenberg. So much smarter than my poor ex who tragically ended up with a bankrupt Yid. If there had been justice in the world my beloved would have wedded Banker Wim while anti Semitic Gretta would have been doomed to eternal poverty by my charming, penniless presence. There is no justice. Don't sue me for libel, Gretta, not yet, just read on. There are worse libels to come.

Don't get me wrong. Wim seems a really nice guy. And unlike me he surely can afford Viagra, or whatever it takes to raise his flag, excuse the PLO pun. Wim and Gretta no doubt have a hell of a wild time together, more than making up for all those dreary bank meetings. And Wim's love making techniques surely beat the daring maneuvers of any Israeli pilot. Wearing a three-piece suit by no means precludes you from being a hard core radical deep inside. I never judge bankers by their appearance. After all, not many people are endowed with an appearance as lackluster as mine.

Still, marrying a Central Bank President must have gone against the radical grains of Red Gretta. I mean not really against her grains, at least not against the majority of her grains, after all she did marry him for God's sake. But certainly against the grains of her broke, radical comrades. I shudder to think of all that mental torture, in between the steamy sessions. Poor, indecently rich Gretta was forced to endure the sneers, sniggers and deafening silence from her impoverished, loony comrades. You fucking bourgeois, she woke up in cold sweat from sleepless nightmares. Traitor, Judas, traitor, she overheard her inner voice shrieking with self-hate. Money makes the world goes round, the world goes round, the world goes round, taunted her to tears. Imagine being the reluctant butt of this anti-Semitic cabaret tune. Money for Gretta is what pigs are for religious Jews. And she's swilling in it. Gretta's predicament redefines bad fortune.

Stop, she screamed, stop stop stop. Stop the bank I wanna get off. How can one possibly enjoy Sex, Lies and Videotapes with horny Wim when sure as hell his 5 digit salary hits your bank account with German made precision.

Gorgeous Gretta had to find a radical outlet. She just had to. She had no choice. It was a life and death matter. She did. Unshaven terrorist chairman turned out to be Gretta's guardian angel. Hanging the PLO flag on her balcony constituted the psychosexual release Gretta had been craving for since selling her soul to the Central Bank. Fuck capitalism; screw the middle class; the heck with my golden Jacuzzi; long live Arafat; God Bless suicide bombers; Philistines Uber Alles. Ha, ha, ha, hA, Ha, HA, COOOOOOOOOOOMING.

Am I too vicious to gorgeous Gretta? No way. I hereby declare that had I met Ms G during her wild Uni days I would have had an almighty crush. Exactly what the doctor ordered. Tall, blond, outrageous Shikza, beats chicken soup any time. Incidentally, I might have cured Gretta of her latent anti-Semitism. You can't be shagging the most impoverished Israeli-Yid on this planet while resenting Jewish money, power and influence. I ought to be remunerated by the Elders of Zion for being so bloody poor. Well, anti-Semitism isn't a logically consistent science, so no counter-example would make any noticeable difference. It wouldn't be noticed to begin with. Who cares?

I daresay I understand gorgeous Gretta though can't be certain of course. Perhaps she doesn't give a damn about Palestinian rights and wrongs. Perhaps she doesn't really hate Jews all that much. Perhaps she just befriended that murderous, unshaven Philistine in order to purge her own bourgeois conscience. What a small price to pay for self-determination. If only Gretta ever came across a gory suicide bombing she'd instantly change her mind. I bet she would. Walking over dead bodies is one thing. Watching mutilated corpses is quite a different matter.

Alas, perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps my innate weakness for drop-dead femme fatals got the better of me. Perhaps. Sunday, January 5, 2003, Arafat's henchmen have just committed one of their worse crimes against humanity. Two mass murderers have detonated the usual ghastly brew of explosives, mixed with nuts, bolts and ball bearings to render the carnage as inhuman as possible. The blasts took place next to the old central station of Tel Aviv, a cosmopolitan center for foreign workers. The old central station is a Mecca for exotic food, cafes, music, and of course sex, cheap sex. Unlike Wim's Central Bank the old central station of Tel Aviv is a Trotskyite paradise. Musicians from Ghana, Chinese workers from Outer Mongolia, Philippine girls, Thai guys, family men from Romania, what have you. Downtrodden working class comrades, many of them illegal workers. Not a single three-piece suit in sight.

Twenty-three dead. About hundred wounded, many very severely. Black, White, Yellow, Jews, Buddhists, Christians; a no discrimination suicide-bombing package. They didn't deserve it. Not by a long shot. No one deserves that atrocious fate. Most of the victims were totally oblivious of the Middle East conflict. Not any more. The Palestinian message was loud and clear: Non Muslims haven't got the right to live in "Secular, Democratic Palestine". They haven't got the right to live to begin with. They haven't got any rights. Death to the Jews, death to America, death to Europe, death to the infidels. Death.

Gretta happened to land in Israel with her leftie entourage a short time after that inhuman genocidal act in order to express her warm support to the chairman of terror. Bad timing, but that's the luck of the draw. Gritty Gretta summarized that carnage in one chilling sentence: "Arafat assured me he's against terror". Lovely, how touching. Hitler assured me he's against gas chambers. Jack the Ripper assures me he isn't fond of raping women prior to mutilating them. Saddam Hussein assured me he's a faithful follower of the Dalai Lama. President Clinton assured me he has never had sex.

Coincidently, assuming for the sake of argument that coincidences do take place from time to time, on the very same day that Arafat's emissaries wreaked havoc in downtown Tel Aviv, at the very same time that Gretta was anxiously networking her way towards the HQ of terrorism in Ramallah, a German psychology student went nuts. Well, that must be a pretty common phenomenon except for the fact that Mr Franz Stephan Strambach took his grievances to air and was circling the European Central Bank in Frankfurt threatening to crush his light plane into that proud monument of shameless Capitalism.

Well, life is full of coincidences, and there are plenty of loonies around, can't expect a Nobel Prize for that trite observation. You would think, wouldn't you, that radical Gretta would be delighted. Down with capitalism, down with the financial colonialism of the heartless West. Wrong. Conspiracy cried Gretta; THEY are trying to get my Wim because I am visiting Palestine… Pardon, madam, who exactly is trying to get your Wim? The Mossad? The Israeli security services? Prime Minister Sharon? The Jewish Conspiracy? The Paranoid Liberation Organization? Me?

Twenty-three mutilated corpses were lying still in the Tel Aviv morgue, awaiting identification. Dozens of injured workers were bleeding in Israeli hospitals, suffering excruciating pain, while fact finder dispute resolution comrade Gretta was preoccupied with her flying conspiracy theory. Fair enough, the Frankfurt saga happened to have a Jewish connection. What doesn't? That charming, deranged student of the human mind was badly infatuated with Judith Resnik, the stunning Jewish astronaut killed in the 1986 space shuttle disaster. At last a Kraut with a conscience. Calm down Gretta, befriending terrorists is much safer than befriending their victims. Your Wim will be ok. I sincerely hope that Gretta would soon launch a Free Franz Stephan Strambach campaign. After all, in contrast to her protagonists he hasn't hurt anyone. Just grieving for a Jewish girl, that's all.

"The Holocaust excepted, the Israeli occupation of the Palestinian territories is worse than the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands" , informs us Gretta. Not quite sure what she means. It would take a Wittgenstein to properly analyze that nonsensical proposition. It seems the implication is that what us Judeo Nazis are doing in Palestine isn't as bad as gas chambers, not yet, but is far worse than what the Nazis inflicted upon Holland. Can't quite comprehend. Where does that leave Anna Frank? She lived, for a short time, under the Nazi occupation of Holland but she also died in the Holocaust, betrayed by some Flying Dutchman. What would you say to little Anna Madam Gretta? What would your dad tell her?

That's not a way to treat a lady. And I can't even substantiate this blood-libel charge. In principle I am against all kind of sneaky insinuations. However, the Gretta file seems to be a bit more than mere insinuation: "[Gretta] was born during the World-War II as a daughter of a Haarlem police-inspector named Nieuwenhuyzen." (Peter Siebelt in Salience Voices). If this ain't a smoking gun I'm gonna quit thinkin' Holocaust for as long as I live. I have got nothing against cops, don't get me wrong. Well, you might say that in general I do share Gretta's attitude towards authority but that's beside the point. The cops who collaborated with the Nazis during the War committed far worse crimes than merely keep law and order. Daniel Goldhagen's fans would bestow upon them the willing executioners label. His detractors might prefer the reluctant accomplices. Both are, to my narrow mind, hanging offences.

Please don't sue me for libel Madam Gretta. Not yet. People are innocent until proven otherwise. Yids included. However different rules apply to WW2. Dutch Police inspectors are guilty until proven otherwise. That's the way it is. I would like to have a look at dad's file, very much so. The onus is on you.

But is it really relevant? Supposing for the sake of argument that Gretta's dad was a downright Nazi, so bloody what? If we are going to indict any European whose parents harbored pro Nazi sympathies the whole damn continent would be placed behind bars. What a good idea. Dad is dad and Gretta is Gretta, no connection whatsoever. Not quite. We miserable Yids have been suffering your unholy wrath for two thousand years over far flimsier a case. Crucifying your Christ heaven forbids. And he wasn't even yours. And we didn't even crucify him. Just think about it, a bunch of crazed Romans crucifying a budding Rabbi then pestering his brethren for two thousand yaers. For Christ sake, six million Jews for one alleged crucifiction (sic). Surely we are entitled to resent anyone whose father or grandfather or second cousin twice removed was a bona fide collaborator. Surely. And then there's that bad karma business. Sorry, you can't just wash your hands after a single generation, not even after ten. Whitewashing is a lengthy procedure my dear.

This article isn't about politics or law. The Nuremberg trials are well and truly over. It's about Gretta. Psycho babbling Gretta if you like. A hypothetical stab in the dark. Grave dark. There is a research question at the bottom of it all. Why, I keep asking, why did Gretta fail to fall for her Kibbutz pilot and opted instead for the Chairman of terror. Why, why, why.

I am writing about Gretta, not about Europe. Well, about both of them. Gretta is Europe and Europe is Gretta. Inseparable, totally inseparable. How many signatures would you like to collect on behalf of the Palestinians, Gretta was asked. Six millions she sniggered. Six millions. Gretta and Europe are inseparable. And Nazi Germany is inseparable from both.

There was a single honorable opening for Europe after the Holocaust. Atone for your crimes until the end of days. Ensure that your victims, the Jewish people, (for pc sake I am not saying they were the only victims, indeed they weren't), will be able to live safely in their historic homeland, the Land of Israel. Bear the ugly cross of your inhuman genocide like an albatross. Alas, Europe stared at the mirror for a brief moment and didn't like what it saw. It never looked again at its own hideous image. Denial is so much easier than atonement. Zionism equal Nazism is such a neat escape. Israel is Nazi Germany, Jenin is worse than Ground Zero, the Jews got what they deserved:

"I have seen Ground Zero after it had been cleaned up. But Jenin is so much worse. The heart of the city has been wiped out." No Gretta, your own heart has been wiped out.

The Palestinians are the new Jews, continues the New Age Orwellism. Us Europeans are to blame. We had killed a few Yids, accidentally. Those Yids went to Palestine, you can't kill Jews with an ax you know. They have ruthlessly displaced the innocent Palestinians. Our fault. We must amend. We ought to protect the downtrodden Philistines. We must teach those bloody Yids a lesson they would never forget.

We haven't forgotten. We shall never forget. Never ever in a million years. Take your goddamned lesson and shove it up your anti-Semitic asses I'd have said had I been slightly cruder than I already am. Gretta and her Europe play kindergarten dialectics on top of the burning ashes of Auschwitz. In a just universe anyone who parroted the above, infantile reasoning would be summarily gassed. Ours is far from just.

Had I been real mean I might have wished Gretta and her banking family a radical chic encounter with Palestinian suicide bombing. I definitely don't. Else I might have wished upon them the sobering experience of being trapped on the 100th floor, September 11. A couple of minutes in Bin Laden's inferno would have no doubt sufficed to elucidate the subtle difference between the horror of being a petrified, innocent victim and between the well-justified military operation. The hunt for the ruthless terrorists from Jenin who had murdered dozens of elderly Jewish victims in the coastal town of Netanya was arguably the most ethical chase in the annals of military history.

In a just universe Europe would have been purged off the face of the earth following the Holocaust. Vanish without a trace. In our less than perfect universe one would have expected that continent to feel eternal shame. Nothing less, nothing more. Just shame.

You should follow your heart Gretta. You should pursue whichever path that feels right to you. You must ignore the criticisms and the threats and the pressure to act like a proper central banker's wife. Only those who are brave enough to swim against the current are likely to ever see the light, and the darkness. And to get rid once and for all of their philistine bad faith. Bon Voyage.