World's Largest Terrorist State?

Ridge here. Who the hell is this Noam Chomsky and where does he get off saying that the U.S. is the world's largest terrorist state? Doesn't he know that this is a closely guarded state secret?

Rumsfeld was furious when this leaked out. "Can't we have this Chomsky guy shot?" he asked.

"Uh, no, sir," Karl Rove said sheepishly. "We're maintaining the formal trappings of democracy to facilitate our secret police operations."

"Damn!" Rummy said. "Well, round up some illegal immigrants and shoot them instead."

"Yes, sir."

You'll notice, yet again, how little input I have into so-called Homeland Security issues. I'm even more powerless than W, whose snoring during Cabinet meetings is getting to be very distracting. Where's Cheney, you ask? That's a damn good question, now that I think of it. Uh oh....