ISO: Life of Us

Brian Otter's noses?
Reg I don't want any of that Roman rubbish.
Judith Why don't you sell proper food?
Brian Proper food?
Reg Yeah. Not those rich imperialist tit bits.
Brian Well don't blame me, I didn't ask to sell this stuff.
Reg All right. Bag of otter's noses then.
Francis Make it two.
Reg Two.
--------[Brian hands them two bags.]
Francis Thanks, Reg.
Brian Are you the Judean People's Front?
Reg Fuck off.
Brian What?
Reg Judean People's Front. We're the People's Front of Judea. Judean People's front, caw.
Francis Wankers.
Brian Can I join your group?
Reg No. Piss off.
Brian I didn't want to sell this stuff. It's only a job. I hate the Romans as much as anybody.
PFJ Sssh. Ssssh, sssh, sssh, ssssh
Judith Are you sure?
Brian Oh. Dead sure... I hate the Romans already.
Reg Listen. If you really wanted to join the PFJ, you'd have to really
hate the Romans.
Brian I do.
Reg Oh yeah? How much?
Brian A lot!
Reg Right. You're in. Listen. The only people we hate more than the Romans are the fucking Judean People's Front.
PFJ Yeah
Judith Splitters.
Francis And the Judean Popular Peoples Front.
PFJ Oh yeah. Splitters.
Loretta And the peoples Front of Judea.
PFJ Splitters.
Reg What?
Loretta The Peoples front of Judea. Splitters.
Reg We're the Peoples front of Judea.
Loretta Oh. I thought we were the Popular Front.
Reg Peoples Front.
Francis Whatever happened to the Popular Front, Reg?
Reg He's over there.
--------[A single old man sits on a lower seat.]
PFJ [To the old man.] SPLITTER!
Goliath Oh. Ooh. Ooh. I think I'm about to have a cardiac arrest.
--------[He falls dead.]
Roman Absolutely dreadful. Humph.
--------[Boris runs around triumphantly, then kneels and show the Romans what he thinks of them.]