'Oil On Mars' Probe Creates Worries That The VP Really Is THAT Fucking Stupid

Vice-president Dick Cheney announced today that he would be heading a brave new resource assessment committee that will probe the possibility of beginning US oil drilling on the planet Mars by as soon as 2003. He called the energy committee "a crucial part in solving the number-one priority to our nation's welfare. Though the vice-president would never be able to actually go into space himself due to persistent health problems, he did jovially admit, "If I could have the mayonnaise and bacon sandwiches and the moon pants, you bet I'd be in that space shuttle."
However a team of scientists are arguing that Mr. Cheney has grossly missed the point, basing his impulsive announcements on satellite data that only suggests there may be possible pools of open water at the Martian poles....

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