i am a child

I am a child.
A child of America.
From the day I was born,
the government paid.
For the roach-infested apartment my mom lived in,
the government paid.
For the silver surplus food cans we lugged in,
the government paid.
For the social workers who were always trying to prove my mom didn't have a man to help her pay the rent,
the government paid.
To let us eat when the cans were empty,
the government paid.
For the jail cells they put her man in when he got drunk and noisy and they found him,
the government paid.
For the workers who tried to take us kids,
the government paid.
To give me a label at age nine (the first time I was homeless),
the government paid.
For the lawyers and courts and probation that dominated my childhood,
the government paid.
For the repeated tours I did in state hospitals for addiction,
the government paid.

Today I'm a man.
The government has a cell with my name on it.
They're ready to pay.
Yeah, I'm ready for them to pay, too.
Not for their stinking cell,
they can shove that cell up Governor Davis' ass.
But I want them to pay all right.
For all the roach-infested hotels children live in,
I want the government to pay.
For all the children who go to bed hungry at the end of each month,
I want the government to pay.
For all the families that the government tears apart,
I want the government to pay.
For giving birth to generations of addicts,
I want the government to pay.
For stripping me of my cultural heritage through assimilation without integrating me,
I want the government to pay.
For making me an addict without accepting addiction as a disability,
I want the government to pay.
For fostering multi-generational cycles of family violence and mental illnesses that were and are life-long,
I want the government to pay.

More than this -
since the government always reminds me how much it costs to provide these services to me all my life -
I want to repay.
For all the nights I spend in a cell,
I want to repay our government,
to repay in full.
Every night I wake up with a rock for a pillow,
go to bed hungry,
get thrown in another mental hospital,
(because after a lifetime of this shit I spend more time wanting to die than most people)
I really want them to pay,
and not in money, either.

Most of all,
I want to collect.
I want to collect,
and I want to collect personally.

And I know I'm not alone.

Tom Gomez