BUSH: The Spoons have been found!

Thursday, August 12th 2004
Washington DC



News-Header--Today the Bush Administration announced in front of a live press conference that the long lost spoons had been found. It was a month ago today that an Al Qaeda terrorist known as "the Rabbit" hid the spoons after a failed attempt to steal the Trix from the kids. Although promptly captured, the Islamic terrorist "Rabbit" sustained a head injury that made it impossible for him to tell the location of the hidden spoons. He was handed over to a joint CIA-FBI interrogation team, and sent to Guantanamo Bay. Now after a month the code crackers at the Bush Administration have figured out "the Rabbits" code, KNURTSTNAHPELE, and recovered the spoons. It turns out that KNURTSTNAHPELE was backwards and was really the 'Elephant's Trunk'.

"I am glad I made this decision, America, and the world is better off with this information. To all those opposed to the War on Terror I ask you, how can you enjoy fruity Trix cereal or yogurt without spoons?" President Bush said to the press conference today.

Springfield News-Header
Springfield, MO