AIRLINE TRAFFIC VIRUS ALERT

I don't usually write my own viruses. I get them from other people and I publish them. That takes a lot of load off Norton.

It all started with a rumor that my favorite UNDERWARE DEALER, Wal-Mart, might install a customer service device that can be scanned for user ID and waistband size.

This device could, of course, also be used to screen AIRLINE TRAFFIC and VOTING BOOTHS. I don't usually wear underwear to the airport but other consumers are likely to ignore the available PATCH, and want to appear their best in the STRIP SEARCH LINE.

I hope to be the first customer in line to CONSUME this product.

The "VIRUS" will activate itself near the CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY SEASON when AIRLINE TRAFFIC approaches INSANITY.

Everyone is expected to specificaly ask for TRACKABLE UNDERWEAR that is the wrong size for the person they intend to give it to. To avoid long lines at the RETURN DESK just trade with some one that has your size until every one is comfortable and fitted.

When no one at the AIRPORT has an UNERWEAR ID that matches their retroactive frequent flyer miles from CHASE MANHATTEN BANK or their PASSPORT, well, nuff said.

I DON'T INVENT THIS JUNK FOLKS, I JUST POINT OUT THE DEFECTS ALRIGHT.

by Albert Kada
Independent Terrorist Journalist
Special Agent CIA-A-1
World's only publisher of computer viruses besides Microsoft.
Stolen from the unpublished newspaper "The American Blasphemer" please copy