Bush has a double

by Concerned

Sat, Feb 9, 2002 8:16PM

A story of an air disaster

Osama Bin Laden, John Walker Lindh and George W. Bush jr are flying in an aeroplane.
Suddenly, all four engines start to burn at the same time.
The pilot comes running into the cabin and says:
"We are going down, I am the only crew member and there are only three parachutes,
I am realy important to the airlines company ..." Out he goes with the first parachute.
George W. Bush jr says: "I am the most important and intelligent person in America"
... out he goes with the second parachute.
Then Osama Bin Laden turns to John Walker: "Brother, since the money worshippers
will kill me anyway, I'll die a martyrs death. You can continue fight US-money-terror,
you shall have the last parachute"
John Walker Lindh: "But no problem! The most intelligent person of America
just jumped out with my sleeping bag"

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§This is funny!

by Bily

Sat, Feb 9, 2002 11:20PM

The only problem is that Osama would have made John Walker the martyr before he could have uttered a word-- and jumped out with the parachute...then on the ground, Osama would have seen John falling to the ground with his parachute (GWB having taken the sleeping bag) and said: "Allah is great! He has saved you from death!"

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§A satire axis of evil satire (Offtopic but still funny)

by Nikos

Sun, Feb 10, 2002 2:08AM

"In Speech, Bush Calls Iraq, Iran and North Korea 'Axis of Evil" -- N.Y. Times, 1/30/02

ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA
SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL
Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own Clubs

Beijing (SatireWire.com) — Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.

"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."

THE AXIS PANDEMIC

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Sometimes Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.

"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

Copyright © 2002, SatireWire.
http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/axis.shtml
http://www.satirewire.com/

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