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Indybay Feature

PETA President auctioned as a Personal Assistant for a Day

by foa
In a recent eBay auction, Ingrid Newkirk, President/Founder of PETA, offered her services for a day to the highest bidder as a fundraiser for PETA. Winning bid: $43,600.00. As part of the ebay format, potential bidders can ask questions of the seller (in this case, PETA). And, as you can imagine, there were a lot of questions asked, and they were answered well with a bit of humor and sometimes sarcasm.

While it's only good for 90 days, here's the link to the auction. The questions are at the bottom.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5630325919

There's a link at the bottom to View all 101 questions, or try this: http://tinyurl.com/7st7a.
Hire PETA President as a Personal Assistant for a Day

Bidding has ended for this item

Winning bid: US $43,600.00 (Reserve met)
Ended: Nov-10-05 07:00:00 PST
Start time: Oct-31-05 07:00:00 PST
History: 42 bids (US $100.00 starting bid)
Winning bidder: bearautovista ( 9 ) About Me
Item location: Norfolk, Virginia
United States


Description (revised)
Hire PETA President as Your Personal Assistant for a Day

Here’s a unique chance to hire hands-on corporate administrator and founder Ingrid Newkirk, president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), as your personal assistant for a day.

Use her experience in animal matters and corporate know-how to good advantage, perhaps by having her accompany you on your annual hunting expedition or to the rodeo or a bullfight.

What about having her redesign your animal testing lab or your bear bile farm, check your trapline, sharpen the lamb mulesing shears on your Outback farm or unload your poor old sheep from the docks in Dubai, build supports to stop your cattle from slipping off the truck ramps at the leather market, or count how many times the workers at your slaughterhouse miss with the captive-bolt gun?

You can have her clean rodent cages or racehorse stalls, serve customers at your dog-soup restaurant, or just have her listen for hours to your hunting club members expound on their manhood.

Of course, as one of the world’s most prominent animal rights leaders, Newkirk would gladly also help you veganize your corporate cafeteria or cook your family’s dinner, bring your wardrobe into the 21st century by going with you on a compassionate shopping spree, or cap your chimney to keep wildlife out of your fireplace this winter. She could help you select cruelty-free holiday gifts, train you to be nicer to your Rottweilers or teach you how to talk to your cats, restock your bathroom cabinet with cruelty-free toiletries and cleaning products, or swap out your sticky glue traps for Havahart® humane box traps.

Or perhaps you have other ideas.

Newkirk is available to give you honest critiques or humane advice or just do what you’d like her to do as long as it’s legal and, if animal suffering or death is involved, you did not cause it or add to it in any way specifically for this occasion.

***

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), with more than 850,000 members and supporters, is the largest animal rights organization in the world. Founded in 1980, PETA is dedicated to establishing and protecting the rights of all animals. PETA operates under the simple principle that animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or use for entertainment.

PETA focuses its attention on the four areas in which the largest numbers of animals suffer the most intensely for the longest periods of time: in factory farms, laboratories, the clothing trade, and the entertainment industry. PETA also works on a variety of other issues, including the cruel killing of beavers, birds, and other so-called “pests” and the abuse of backyard dogs.

PETA works through public education, cruelty investigations, research, animal rescue, legislation, special events, celebrity involvement, and protest campaigns. For more information, see PETA.org.

***

Notes:

Ingrid Newkirk will only engage in legal activities (for example, only Louisiana and New Mexico still allow cockfighting) and will only serve as a personal assistant for activities that are a normal part of the lifestyle of the winner, not for any activities in which pain and suffering are inflicted specifically for this offer.

Ingrid Newkirk reserves the right to refuse any bid.

Accommodations and round-trip air travel between Norfolk, Virginia, and the job site are the responsibility of the winner and are not included in the purchase price.

Ingrid Newkirk may choose to be accompanied by a videographer or member of the media.

See http://www.ingridnewkirk.com/ for additional information, quotations, or photos.

When you bid, please send details of how you plan to have Ingrid Newkirk assist you to IngridNewkirk at peta.org.


-------------------------------------


From the last page of the Q&A:


Questions from other members : Hire PETA President as a Personal Assistant for a Day Item number: 5630325919


Question & Answer Answered On


Q: Hi there, I just ran across the auction. What a great idea! And kudos to you for how you're handling all the ribbing--some of it good-natured, some not--keep up the good work! I hope you raise lots of money for the cause and get a few people to think about some things along the way.
Nov-08-05

A: Well, thank you. We hope so too.


Q: hey freaks, why it is OK for her assistant to take penasilin that is derived from animals and tested on animals for her diabetes? Or if she thinks abortion is acceptable?
Nov-08-05

A: Oh my, where to start? It’s a vice-president, not her assistant; it’s insulin not penicillin; and all insulin produced these days is non-animal based since there were so many problems with allergic reactions to animal-based insulin. PETA even has a free booklet you can order on peta.org on how to control diabetes and how going vegan would reduce your need for additional insulin. PETA’s mandate concerns animals, so it does not have any opinion about abortion. If you win the auction, you may ask Ms Newkirk about her personal opinion on the subject.


Q: i was wondering if she could help me find the deer i shot on nov.6? is that a possibility? i really dont like it just laying in the woods, and would she be willing to hunt with me, im not a good shot when they are running so there might be a accident if you know what i mean.
Nov-08-05

A: Thank you for identifying yourself as a slob hunter. Most of your ilk don’t. Hunting accidents are tragedies but unlike drive-by shootings the victims aren’t usually innocent bystanders.


Q: Answer me this, if I understand correctly a vegan must be very careful and make sure to eat a certain variety of foods/beans in order to get the proper protein and nutrients. If this is true, it just does not sound natural to me. Our ancestors were not designed to go out of their way to find a certain vegetable or bean. That lends itself to this, why is it so bad to just not eat meat? I understand the conditions on a dairy farm are not to your standards but what about free range eggs / milk / cheese which lends itself to a veg. diet where one doesn't have to make a special effort. I believe if we were not intended to eat meat we wouldn't have the capacity to do so.
Nov-08-05

A: That view is a bit outdated. Actually, as long as a vegan eats a balanced diet with plenty of fresh food and enough calories and gets enough B12 in cereal or soymilk, s/he will be fine. You might look at pcrm.org for advice or goveg.com. We eat well. And, hey, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is grains, nuts and fruits in one bite! Add a banana and you can pretend you are Elvis Presley. How much meat do you suppose our ancestors really ate? You may have noticed that we’re not exactly designed to chase down antelope and rip their throats out with our teeth. I suppose prior to the use of fire they were also raw foodists. It just doesn’t feel natural to me to chew on raw meat when there are so many delightful fruits, nuts and vegetables grown ready-to-eat. Sure, if you’re not ready to stop eating eggs or milk products, those from free range animals probably caused less suffering, but you should try some of the wonderful soy and rice based products – cheese, sour cream, yoghurt, even soy ice cream.


Q: I'm not sure you know your facts on the gentle and quiet creatures. Deer and other animals are by no means gentle and quiet. Try petting one of them sometime in the wild. You might be knocked back into reality, if you live through it. I'm not trying to be sarcastic or make you mad in any way. I don't agree with animal cruelty and such. On the other hand, I hunt for food, not trophies. Why is that so hard for PETA to understand? I don't like to see animals suffer any more than anyone else. I never take a questionable shot when hunting. When I shoot an animal, it is over very quickly. If you want to see something sick, get into a deer stand, unarmed and watch a coyote take an adult deer down and start tearing it apart before the deer is dead. I'm a law abiding hunter and I don't see that changing, it's a family tradition that is being instilled into my kids. One note, I'm also 100% Native American. Where did your ancestors come from?
Nov-08-05

A: You’re right, but we would certainly never encourage anyone to try to pet any wild animal. We understand that you eat the animals you kill and as we’ve said that’s a more honest way of relating than buying them shrink-wrapped in the supermarket or as a plate of chicken wings in a bar. Still, these days, there is no real need to hunt wild animals for food, as safer, more nutritious food is readily available. Our ancestors were also Earthlings, so we share a common background. More specifically, I think Ms. Newkirk is originally from Africa. All Europeans are.


Q: Is PETA trying to make domesticated animals extinct? If we don't eat beef, chicken, etc., and if we neuter every dog and cat on the planet, then what becomes of these poor beasts? Do you really think people will keep a herd of cattle just to look at? I think PETA has gone nuts. NANCY
Nov-08-05

A: Hi, Nancy - People are doing their best to keep a herd of elephants in captivity just to look at, so, yes, they probably would do the same with cattle. The reason there are so many farmed animals is that they are relentlessly bred to keep up with the demand for cheap meat. Modern day chickens have been bred to grow to full size in just weeks – a process that used to take months – to produce food faster although it makes them unable to stand and barely even move. I appreciate what you’re trying to say but there is very little danger of domestic or companion animals becoming extinct.


Q: Does this day consist of 8 hours or 24 or somewhere in between? Also, how come vegeterians die on average earlier then meat eaters?
Nov-08-05

A: Well, we were thinking of a normal work day but I guess it depends on what you have in mind. Ms Newkirk will try to accommodate your schedule if you win. Not only don’t vegetarians die at a younger age than meat eaters but they are healthier throughout their lives - their longevity rate is superior. Check http://www.goveg.com. Your comment would have more zing if it were accurate.


Q: hi, i don't know anything about your organization. i just so happen to stumble upon your auction through ebay's most watched auctions page. CONGRATULATIONS! Anyhoo, let the president know that she is a beautiful woman in and out for caring so much for God's creatures. Here's my question...when you say that animals are not for us to eat, what information did you use in order to come to that conclusion?
Nov-08-05

A: There is a lot of evidence that humans aren’t ideally designed to eat animals – from the shape of our teeth to the way our digestive systems work. We’re not true carnivores like tigers. We’re primates, and primates aren’t big meat eaters. In fact, most don’t eat meat at all. But our creed that animals are not ours to eat is based more on a philosophical stance that each animal has his own interests, desires and a unique place in creation and that for animals this place is certainly not a factory farm or a veal crate or having her wings sold for 29 cents each during ‘Happy Hour’ at your neighborhood bar. Simply because we are the cleverest and most powerful animal does not mean that the other animals were put here for us to do with as we please. In fact, we are in an ideal position to protect those weaker than us.


Q: Great publicity stunt idea, who came up with this one? To bad that’s probably all you will get. I very seriously doubt you will see the cash on this one. Not exactly hi-rollers bidding so far haha.. At least it has given people a forum to lash out at PETA which I found very funny. You seem to have a good sense of humor. How much do you think this Auction will net PETA I would put my money on a loss.
Nov-08-05

A: I don't know. More than 50,000 people have looked at this auction, it’s on Ebay's most viewed list, is featured on several other sites, and bidding has already passed $14,000. We're glad to hear that the high rollers haven't checked in yet – we can hardly wait!


Q: L@@K auction # 5631870282 I just wanted to say that I think you all are great... my three puppy dogs along with myself are watching your auction hoping for a great outcome. Good luck!!!
Nov-08-05

A: Thanks – keep an eye on those pooches or they'll outbid you when you leave the room.


Q: Just because she is the self-titled -President- of PETA does NOT equate her position with that of the President of the United States. She should not have to be accomodated in a room that would be of the caliber fit for George Bush, the President of the United States. She is worthy of respect, but the levels due are NOT equivalent based on titles. For President Bush, I would would make special accomodation; for -President- Newkirk, she gets what everyone else gets.
Nov-08-05

A: Well, then, she and George can visit at the same time!


Q: Blessings to Ingrid and to all of the wonderful folks at PETA for doing such great work. Thank you for making our world a better place for ALL living creatures -- furry and hairless, big and small, the intelligent, and the not so intelligent (who are well represented as the authors of some of these questions!). Your responses here have made me laugh and your good hearts give me hope. Best wishes from me, and my three darling rescue kitties (Julia, Kate, Sasha, and Molly).
Nov-08-05

A: Thanks for your comments. Glad to see that your cats get equal billing in your family! I'm sure they wouldn't have it any other way.


Q: I would like to know one thing, many great scientific discoveries have been made through testing on animals. If we do not use animals how can we possibly make any progress? Maybe you would suggest using prisoners on death row, or maybe we could auction someone on eBay to do this, like say, a certain President of an Animal Advocate group.
Nov-08-05

A: Good question, but like many people I think that you might be confusing progress with growth. Animal testing has grown to become a huge business but it hasn't made much progress – more people die today of cancer, heart disease and problems caused by medical treatment than ever before – and that's with tons of animal testing. Prisoners were once asked to volunteer to test yellow fever vaccinations in exchange for a reduction in their sentences. I think that this might be a useful contribution that prisoners can make to repay society, if they choose to, but not if they are coerced. Better than the animals who are innocent, have no choice and will certainly be killed. But there are also many healthy and sick people who would be glad to be included in an experimental study either for the chance for a cure or to help humanity. Look at Rock Hudson trying desperately but without luck to get into an experimental program and having to go to France for one when it was too late. Keep in mind that many of the tests that you are supporting are often to investigate drug, alcohol or tobacco addiction in animals, HIV or dozens of other diseases or conditions that do not normally occur in animals. Today's epidemiological studies and human cell cultures, and more allow us to use humans without harming them.


Q: I agree with you. I love animals too. They are beautiful to look at, fun to shoot, and delicious to eat.
Nov-08-05

A: We love original ideas like this. The first time we heard it, about 25 years ago, we laughed ourselves silly.


Q: If I win, will Ms. Newkirk come hunting with me, and explain to me overpopulation of animal species? could she possibly explain how an animal dying a slow & painful death starving over the course of a winter because of overpopulation & lack of food is better than harvesting an animal & feeding a family (possibly more than 1 family)? If you vegans stop reproducing & eating all the animals natural foods maybe this wouldn't occur? Is she capable of such in depth conversation, or is it animals feel pain & the veggies don't?
Nov-08-05

A: You know, she would, but save your money and don't bid. If you won, you might not be able to follow her explanation and might feel cheated.


Q: Hi, What a wonderful thing you are doing. I think cruelty to animals is truly horrible. I must say there has been a lot of questions already! I just finished reading through them & there are (some) valid points made on the ~non-animal lovers~ side. Personally I think that we should not consider animals to be more important than humans. I wonder how many staving people in our current world humanitarian crisis could be given LIFE by the efforts of volunteer's like yourself? Not to mention all the money and resources (+ time) that could be used to help desperate people. I feel that people should not be cruel to animals and I am very upset that (some) people are however you will never stop (merely slow) the cruelty of animals. I think that mother teresa could have really used you people on the mission fields and I personally would love to see you handing out food to starving children and giving first-aid to bomb victums or helping rescue people from earthquake rubble. Thanks.
Nov-08-05

A: Wow. Funny you should mention Mother Theresa. Some of Ms Newkirk's earliest memories are of this sainted woman. Ms Newkirk’s mother volunteered for Mother Theresa in India and St. Theresa's lessons of compassion and love for all were not lost on her or her daughter. It was probably while the young Ingrid was rolling bandages for lepers on school break (yes, she did that) or stuffing cloth dolls for the orphanage kids that her mother said to her, 'It doesn’t matter who suffers, but how.' Her mother also took in human and non-human waifs and strays, she didn't slam the door on anyone who was hungry or ill. It isn't necessary to rank either humans or animals as more important, any more than it's necessary to kick a stray dog while going to feed a homeless person, all are deserving of our care, love and consideration. PETA works to help animals. Other groups work to help human victims of violence, war and abuse. Some people do nothing of any good for anyone. You can support whichever groups you feel are working towards goals that you share. Thanks for keeping an open mind and for your own efforts for those in need.


Q: I'm all for PETA, what I want to know is if I hire her, will she smoke a joint with me (it will be within the bounds of my business to do so)?
Nov-07-05

A: Wow. Nice work if you can get it… Far out! We won't even ask what business you're in. Send us your pager number and what corner you'd like to meet on and we'll discuss it, but it would have to be legal in your jurisdiction – no, don't even tell us where you live.


Q: Hi - Good Luck raising money! Isn't it a shame about some of the really dumb questions you've had from the REALLY dumb rednecks (is it ok to call them that? i'm from UK not sure what's allowed). One question, my other half says eating fish is ok, coz they don't have any feeling and catching them doens't cause any pain or distress. What does the newest research and Ms Newkirk say about this? I take it Ms Newkirk doesn't eat fish or like fishing! How about auctioning a 5 minute phonecall from her to lecture the person of your choice? (Like my other half to tell him fishing IS a blood sport?)
Nov-07-05

A: Like the idea: thanks! Scientists have proven that fish are intelligent animals who feel pain just like all animals do. Fish learn from one another, have long term memories and can recognize one another. Fish gather information by eavesdropping and fish even use tools- which until recently was thought to be a uniquely human trait. To learn more about the amazing lives of fish, please visit FishingHurts.com (or get your other half to) - you can also read about the cruelty of the fishing industry, the health problems caused by eating fish and, of course, what you can do to help them! These days there are also many vegetarian faux fish products that would probably satisfy the other half. Oh, we don’t call them 'really dumb rednecks' – it’s redundant.


Q: I agree with parts of PETA but feel things have gotten way overboard in some of your views. Keep going after the cruel people but please leave the honest hunter and fisher alone. Best of luck with the auction.
Nov-07-05

A: Thanks. Sometimes our views might seem over the top to people who are kind and caring to most animals but still enjoy pursuits like hunting or fishing. It is true that hunters and fishers are more honest than those who pay someone else to do their killing, but they need to discipline themselves to not just be up front about it, but to stop it as we’re not survivalists any more. Check out peta.org and read our positions on hunting and fishing – you may be surprised to find you agree.


Q: I am dismayed that someone in a position of power has nothing better to do than sell their time away to the highest bidder. Maybe you should reconsider your position as the leader of a powerful organization, and take on a more profitable career.
Nov-07-05

A: Ms Newkirk replies: I gave up a profitable career a long time ago to do something that has its rewards, even when it comes to dealing with rude and critical people, because I see every day that more eyes and hearts and minds are being opened, even against such resistance to change.


-------------------------------------


The very first question from Q&A:


Question & Answer Answered On


Q: Is this for real? Seems an unusual item for ebay. Cheers
Oct-31-05

A: Hi. Perhaps it is a bit unusual but it is certainly for real. You can read PETA's media release here: http://www.peta.org/MC/NewsItem.asp?id=7354

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