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Related Categories: U.S. | Government & Elections
Invasion!
by Leon Kunstenaar (kunstena [at] comcast.net)
Wednesday Jul 29th, 2020 11:25 PM
The country has been invaded. Its not going well.
A coalition of Mexico, Canada, Cuba and Venezuela invaded the US today. President Trump, tweeting from the White House bunker, dismissed the invasion as "nothing to worry about, they will disappear in a week or so."

As hordes of crazed Canadians swarmed across the northern border and their Navy launched thousands of landing crafts into the Great Lakes, powerful Mexican armies overran Baja California and were on the outskirts of Phoenix and San Antonio.

A few homeland security and ICE enforcement personnel attempted some resistance. While their impressive military garb had intimidated some young people and their mothers in Portland, confronting actual soldiers was a different story. Trump’s finest quickly panicked and ran.

As for the few regular army and air force units that took it upon themselves to fight, if turned out that all their high tech weaponry and military doctrine of “overwhelming force”, so useful for demolishing cities and inflicting “collateral” damage throughout the world, was doing the same to Americans. Americans had long forgotten how to fight for national liberation and the invaders found that they were conquering an increasingly demoralized and leaderless people.

One the other hand, when Cuban doctors overran the Miami hospital system, Floridians welcomed them with cheers and flowers in the knowledge that, at last, poor people would get access to health care.

Trump, in a press conference that included the Joint Chiefs of Staff gave a rambling presentation where he alone spoke. He squarely placed the blame, saying "Obama and Hillary are responsible for this. They're mad because I beat them in 2016."

As the US military situation deteriorated, Trump, true to the Republican aversion to government interference, resisted calls for national mobilization. "I won't inflict a burdensome, one size fits all federal solution on the states. Each state knows bests what works for them."

The result was that, without central coordination, states had to compete for resources. Boeing stock doubled as Texas and California got into a bidding war to buy grounded Max 8 jets in order to move their troops to the front.

The death toll mounted. In the Republican controlled states, governors steadfastly refused to pool resources and coordinate, or even to require people to shelter from enemy bullets. They insisted that this would compromise their much beloved individual freedoms, guaranteed them by the Constitution. As PPE shortages became apparent, Trump told them that they had not been grateful enough for the help that he had already given them, and to do a better job of reusing what they had.

In the North, the invasion was slowed somewhat as some Governors coordinated and supported each other in the struggle. They even came up with a clever name for their alliance. They called themselves the "United" States.

As the Generals and Admirals of the Joint Chiefs realized that the struggle was not going well, they tried to exercise their military expertise, offering their own views as to what was needed. They felt that the enemy must first be defeated before the economy could be rebuilt. This rankled Trump who felt that Americans should work at their jobs, helping the economy and thereby his reelection campaign instead of shooting at Canadians. However, it was still okay with him to kill Spanish speaking Mexicans and Cubans, not to mention tens of thousands of surplus seniors with medical issues. He therefore started to plant press stories about how incompetent the Joint Chiefs were.

The death toll went from bad to worse. It looked like the Republic was in grave danger. So much so that Mitch McConell and Lindsey Graham started to make discreet inquiries as to what roles they might be able to play in a future regime. The invaders had already tapped Kayleigh McEnany who was eager to use her communications skills to justify the invasion to the population.

Trump gave orders to gas up Air Force One for the long flight to Moscow. He called Putin to tell him that the time had come to repay him for having delivered the US on a silver platter. Air Force One barely made it off the runway as the Venezuelans overran Dulles International Airport. Putin, however, having no more use for Trump, told him to get lost.

Trump tried his luck with Merkel and Macron. When they stopped laughing, they reminded him that, unlike people from Viet Nam and Uganda, Americans were too diseased to be allowed into the EU.

But it did not end badly for Trump. He had other friends. The Saudis were grateful for all the weaponry that Trump had provided them and for looking the other way when they dismembered journalists. As prearranged, the Saudis had deposited the billions of dollars of Trump's "commissions" on the arms sales in local banks.

Trump built a new Hotel in Riyadh and moved in with his family. He was a billionaire after all.
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