How Berkeley Struck Out - An Apocalyptic Tale That Doesn't Have to Be.

The Berks all through Berkville liked Zintville a lot
But the powers-that-be north of Zintville did not!

It could be, perhaps, that their Nikes were too tight.
It could be their heads weren't screwed on just right.

But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that their hearts were two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, their hearts or their Nikes,
They stood there 'ere Christmas a-hating the Mikes.

Staring down from their tower with a sour, admin frown
At the warm lighted tents below in the town,

For they knew every Zhoo in Zintville abed
Was visioning sugerplums deep in their heads.

"And they're lighting a tree" they snarled with a sneer.
"It soon will be Christmas! It's practically here!"

They filled their cop vans, and they took trusty Hans,
And down to the camp they went with their bans.

On Crusher, on Masher, on Tramper, on Nix-em,
On Vomit, on Lipid, on Gonner and Blitz-em!

All the camp tents were dark, No one knew they had come.
All the Zhoos were all dreaming sweet dreams without glum.

They loaded their vans with what they called trash,
They arrested a few and cited a rash.

Then they slunk to the food tent. They took the Zhoos' feast!
They took the damned pudding! They took the roast beast!

They stole the pc's, and all the cell phones.
They even deleted the Zhoos ringy tones.

Then they came face to face with the wonderful tree.
As the Zhoos made a circle, knelt down in a plea.

No mercy was shown tho, the axe did come out.
The Zhoos were dispersed, the tree down with a shout.

"We'll not have this nonsense. We'll not have this here.
Bah and Humbug to you, and to all your good cheer."

"There are poor houses, jails, sidewalks and rats;
That's where you belong, your dogs and your cats!"

And what happened then? Well, in Berkville they say
That the powers' small hearts shrunk three sizes that day!

Oh, somewhere in this Trumped up land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,

And somewhere peeps are laughing and little children shout;
But (for the nonce) no Zintville - mighty Berkeley has struck out.