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UID:Indybay-44723
SEQUENCE:44723
CREATED:20040816T004600Z
DESCRIPTION: I need your help. I have a three year old son with brain cancer and a 
 family law judge that has given his abusive father unsupervised visitation 
 with him in the hospital which resulted in the father emotionally the child 
 during visits.  The judge has confirmed that the father has engaged in 
 domestic violence and has ordered that the father have only court 
 supervised visitation with our other two children (ages 2 years old and 5 
 years old).  However, the court has left the most vulnerable child with 
 unsupervised visitation.  I need as many people as possible to come to a 
 hearing on Monday August 16, 2004 in Oakland, California at 1:30 pm.  The 
 hearing is at 1221 Oak Street on the 4th floor in Department 21.  You 
 don’t have to speak or even take sides we just need to let the judge know 
 that people are paying attention to this case and the fate of this little 
 boy.   In addition to the emotional abuse he has put the three year old 
 through, the father should have supervised visitation with the three year 
 old because:   •	He is a convicted felon;   •	He is being charged with 
 six separate new crimes for stalking me;   •	He broken into the family 
 home at 3 am and when I awoke I found him standing over my bed;  •	He has 
 violated the restraining order with written emails, text messages and 
 attempts to break into the home over 70 times this year alone;   •	He has 
 received a score of over 70% on the psychological test the MMPI in the 
 categories of psychopathic deviancy and schizophrenia;   •	2 weeks after 
 our son had brain surgery he filed a joint tax return (in violation of the 
 restraining order against him) without my knowledge or consent and then 
 took the entire tax refund approx $7000 without my knowledge, he gave none 
 of it to me or the children, though he knew I could not work while our son 
 was critically ill;   •	He has forged my signature on a Postal Service 
 form and had my mail forwarded to his address (in violation of the 
 restraining order) keeping me from collecting vital medical information 
 about my son, the bills and schooling of the other children (and a $3300 
 money order sent through the mail is missing as well); and   •	He has 
 filed a motion in court to force the sale of the family home to pay for his 
 criminal lawyer to defend him in his criminal case, though he knew if the 
 house were sold the children would have nowhere to live.  Despite all of 
 this the court has allowed the father to have unsupervised visitation in 
 the hospital with my three year old because he says that the hospital 
 guards can prevent the father from abducting the child (which is a major 
 concern).  The problem is that the hospital guards cannot keep the father 
 from abducting the child.  The father proved this  just two weeks ago when 
 he snuck past hospital security to gain entry to the hospital.  Strangely, 
 he knew that hospital security would have let him through on that occasion 
 if he had asked because the little boy was in the ICU and was critical so I 
 had informed the father that he should come to the ICU immediately and that 
 security would let him in (I also told him that I would be present for the 
 whole visit because I would not leave his bedside while he was critical).  
 When security asked him how he got past them he refused to tell them.   At 
 a recent unsupervised visit with the three year old, just a week after he 
 almost died from septic shock, the father went into the boy’s private 
 hospital room, closed the door with the blinds drawn and spent the visit 
 telling the 3 year old that he should be afraid of the maternal 
 grandfather.  Before the visit the child was happy go lucky but right after 
 the visit, the child was despondent and the nurse heard him say (and wrote 
 in the medical records) that his father told him that his grandfather was 
 bad.  When a child psychologist examined him he revealed that his father 
 told him that his grandfather was bad, that his father told him to be 
 scared of his grandfather.  This is particularly upsetting because his 
 grandfather is one of his primary caregivers who has helped to rear him.  
 The child was extremely sad and confused. He does not want to be sacred of  
 his grandfather who helps to take care of him everyday in the hospital but 
 at the same time his father is telling him to be scared.  As a now single 
 parent of three I understand that I need all of the children to have faith 
 that they are safe when with their grandparents because I need them to 
 serve as primary caregivers when I go to work, or when I am at the hospital 
 with the 3 year old, or when I am at the house with the other two children. 
    In just two weeks my son will be given one of the strongest doses of 
 chemotherapy that they give children.  It will decimate his immune system 
 and kill all of his bone marrow. Right after that he will have a stem cell 
 transplant.  He will be very sick and extremely vulnerable. If his father 
 does this to him again it will be devastating to him as he struggles to 
 recover and receives care from his grandfather.    The judge is not 
 sensitive to the needs of this child.  He does not understand the impact of 
 emotional abuse and will not accept that security at the hospital is 
 inadequate to prevent abduction.    In order to serve the needs of the 
 father the judge has ordered that I cannot be at my son’s bedside during 
 his father’s visitation time even if my son is dying.  The judge has 
 given me full physical and legal custody of all of the children and there 
 have been no allegations that I am an unfit parent in any way.  But the 
 Court believes that it is important to allow the father to have this time 
 alone with his son even if it means that he uses the time to hurt the child 
 while he fights for his life.  All along I have encouraged the father to 
 engage in supervised visitation with the children.  He voluntarily refused 
 to visit them for over three months. I have never kept him from the 
 child’s bedside when he was critical and have allowed him to have far 
 more time with the child in the ICU than the restraining order allows for.  
 Despite this, at the hearing the father will be requesting increased 
 unsupervised visitation with the three year old which will only give him 
 more time to do harm. Having people at the hearing will make the judge take 
 notice and pay attention to the needs of the child.   Please come to the 
 hearing if you are in the San Francisco Bay Area or if you know someone in 
 the Bay Area please ask them to come.    You can contact me at 
 childwithcancer@sbcglobal.net     \n 
 https://www.indybay.org/newsitems/2004/08/15/44723.php
SUMMARY:3 yr old w/ brain cancer being abused - hearing to end the abuse
LOCATION:1221 Oak Street, 4th floor  Department 21  Oakland, CA 94602
URL:https://www.indybay.org/newsitems/2004/08/15/44723.php
DTSTART:20040816T203000Z
DTEND:20040816T213000Z
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