The Other Mom of the Tannery Crisis

On July 26th at the Tannery community a terrible tragedy occurred, and all of Santa Cruz’s hearts were shattered. Two single parent families and an entire community shocked, traumatized, devastated, and struggling to understand the incomprehensible. A precious daughter had been killed and a troubled son had done it. Two mothers prematurely lost their children, and are left to confront shattered lives and dreams, facing the unthinkable and the unbearable. Our entire community is reeling in fear, shock, insecurity and loss of control.

When I was inspired to offer my services for Grief and Loss Counseling and Crisis Support to the community, something extraordinary came to the surface of my awareness and I wept at its vulnerable insight. I knew in my heart that many, many healers and counselors and support would nest around Laura, the mother of Maddy and her family, and that perhaps very few or even no one, would feel called to nest the mother and family of the troubled boy. At that moment I understood my place, and I stepped into the gaping hole that was support for Reggie Factor the “other mother – in this tragic occurence.

This circumstance calls upon our deepest wells of compassion and humanity as we reach out and support her. The discomfort of this horror is so overwhelming; we sometimes reach for simple answers. Someone is good, and someone is bad. But, I believe that this moment calls for us to widen our definition and practice of compassion and empathy, to understand and acknowledge that this other mom’s life has also been destroyed by an event that is very, very difficult to comprehend. This is a fundraising campaign asking for your financial support for her.

It is just the beginning of a very long path for Reggie who needs deep support, while she grieves, heals, and rediscovers a life. Please, if you are able, contribute - to assist her with living expenses, so she can have some material security, and psychic and physical peace to heal. It is not possible for Reggie to continue her job as caregiver right now and she needs to find new housing. This loss of fundamental security of stability and safety is a major concern for her family and those of us supporting her, and an unfair consequence for her on top of this terrible life event.

Your contribution will enable us to secure housing, and living expenses, care giving, and food while she turns her attention to mending her heart and psyche. We are also trying to bring her brother and sister from the Philippines who can come live with her so she doesn’t have to live alone. Reggie and her small but incredibly devoted family members also need somatic healing, massage, acupuncture, etc. This is not a fundraiser for her son AJ Gonzalez in any way; this is a call for help for Reggie. All funds raised will be deposited into a bank account at Wells Fargo under the control of stable family members to use for Reggie’s current and future living expenses.

Your generous support recognizes that this tragedy is a terrible loss for this “other mom", as well as her family by horrific circumstances. It helps construct a much needed alternative lens and conversation of understanding this tragedy as one of deeply complex compromised familial, and cultural systems. Factors, which include challenges of socio-economic and cultural realities, single parent families, and the absence of a holistic eco and soul centric healthy human village structure, (which we all grieve the loss and cost of, as well as long for ourselves), are all - deeply causal here.

Finally, your financial giving acknowledges that we all have deep wounding in our lineages of family, of culture, of nations - that there is a brokenness in the village of human family at a level so great now across the planet, that we continue to witness horrors that just shouldn't be. What we can do is act in compassion and love to all that is ultimately us - because we are all connected.

Thank you, I guarantee your own heart will be full with your participation in the web of life and stepping in to big wide love by helping this other mother, Reggie Factor. Reggie’s family and myself author this campaign. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your generous support in this difficult time.

You can help even more by sharing this campaign with your friends who might be inspired to support this other mom in need. Thank you.

Palika, Geric, Irene, Mimie and Leo.
Santa Cruz, CA

Please donate at:
http://www.gofundme.com/tanneryothermom